David 'Parky' Parkinson (Member)



Bred of an airy word, David joined the group twice, leaving after a day the first time for reasons he doesn't recall.

An avid potato, Parkinson is perhaps best known for being called Parkinson. He's one of the many Irish that inhabit the group, which will one day overrun the admins and impose Shamrocks and fiddles on all.

Despite rumors, Parkinson's first Nintendo game was in fact the somewhat mediocre Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, for GBA. Since then, he's screamed over Batman Forever, whooped over Pokemon, and cried at the shame of owning Popstar Guitar.

His favorite things include Michael Keaton's Batman-cowl rip, Tommy Lee Jones, Doctor Who, and obscure, if not slightly famous, things. Oh, and half of his references are lost on others.

Catchphrase: God, I hate *insert bad thing here*...

Parkinson admitted to 'oiling his undergarments with chocolate' while playing his PS2. The result was a mixture of triumph and feces.

DEATH

Parkinson was crushed by a dead donkey, which had fallen from a truck ironically being driven by Drop the Dead Donkey star Jeff Rawle. However, the US government rebuilt his body with cybernetic reinforcements and set him loose on the unsuspecting criminals of Santa Fe.

Accolades: Never once mentioned that he eated pencil shavings then did a massive fart (probably a shart) and blamed it on the girl next to him. As a result he's socially awkward. And smells like regret and graphite.